"That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil-this is the gift of God."Ecclesiastes 3:13
We all do it: we create and carry images in our mind of those times that shape us as humans. For many of us it’s those simple moments; maybe that home run when we were five or a summer vacation with our Grand Parents; maybe as simple as just an ice cream cone with a friend. Yes, simple, but great moments that will forever be of and create who and what we are as individuals.
Today, as I sit here, the images of the past ten days are becoming many of those moments, as it is now, for this first time, that I truly begin to awake from this experience. So many images shuffle in my mind and I struggle to fully understand their meaning. Was our mission to help one family or to understand the greater need of a community? Was it the cultural connections made to the indigenous people of Paraguay or the capturing of the deep internal beauty of the children of the slums? Today it is unclear; my eyes have not yet focused upon the meaning.
I know as the time passes, and my blurry vision of this experience focuses onto my simple moments, I will find clarity. Will it be focused solely in the moments of our conversations, the laughing children, the bright smiles or the simple joy of the human experience? I don’t know. Will it be the time spent surrounded by the Teams passionate heartfelt dialog, so emotional and sincere it could only be broken with the laughter of others? I don’t know.
As I feel a longing for the understanding I open my camera and search for reflection, clarity, and direction. I believe the camera captures the moment, it allows us to recall and remember the people and times of our lives. Just like our own memories, photographs can become forged into a greater message. The pictures begin with getting to know our team. It was the time to share stories of why we have come and what we expected. No one really knew for sure; it was unclear. It was a time to share food and drink; to laugh and mask some of the unknown. It was a time to ease into this new found relationship and create openness for the relationship to come. Discussions were plentiful on topics of biology, the Supreme Court, our aging bodies, our anticipation, the future and a unified desire to give.
I must continue to search the pictures for that moment, the moment I long for, the one that lasts, creates the meaning of all of this. They are great pictures of our hard work. The ones that months and years of others work lead up to this week of labor and love. There are many pictures of the “project” that brought us all here at this time and place. I dig deeper into these photos and see our Habitat Family, the creators of such a wonderful future Home they will call theirs, a family of strength and courage. Images of their children with such open laughter, images clearly full of Love, images of a mother whose barriers are being overcome and a family that will soon have a hearth they will call home. Sure there are images of the Team working, of the relationships with the masons, even the neighbors, images of the cultural history of Paraguay, images of the hardships of so many, images that can truly move your soul. But, where will I find my moment? As is shuffle the hundreds of photos the answer becomes clear, it is not just one image but it is many. This is my moment, my image, the one I will have forever and they are the images of us all together. Together with Nina and her children, together as a Team, together as a Habitat family, together with Claudia and her family. Images of us all together after our toil; after our work, photos of us physically exhausted, but not one of us emotionally removed, photos overcoming our language barriers, photos of us laughing, dancing, singing and holding one another. Photos of the clear emotional connections made as we created our relationships over “family” meals, doing our part, all sharing openly as we eat and drink, laugh and cry.
These are clearly the moments I recall in the short time since they have a passed. The moments of our sitting together sharing our food, our drink our conversations of love, family, future. It is the breaking of this bread and this time spent together, the time playing with a ball or simply a tree, these clear images-moments, are the ones that shape who I have become.
I am unsure on how to expound upon this emotion, but I am sure I will continue to reflect in my mind on how the experiences I shared in Paraguay will affect my future. What I do know is that we can’t do it alone. It takes that connection; a connection to share these simple moments and a devotion to something larger than oneself. It takes a true Love, a passion in something and someone to hold these moments. Maybe it’s folklore, maybe it’s religion or maybe it was just a movie, but I have heard you can take these moments; this Love, with you when we leave this earth. I surely hope so as these are the ones I will take with me forever.
Brian Judge. October 13, 2009.